As many of you know, the relentless pursuit of maternal perfection occasionally necessitates a bit of temperance, just to keep the momentum fresh. During that short, almost undetectable, period of time, I will turn my attention ever so slightly to a personal, cultural interest, which, truth be known, really ultimately benefits the children anyway, if I'm being completely honest with myself.
Anyway, as I was perusing Pinterest, I found this recipe for a homemade Listerine foot bath/pedicure. Apparently, the chemical reaction of the vinegar and Listerine is somehow magically calibrated so as to melt away dead flesh like corrosive battery acid while at the same time caressing, with angel-kiss tenderness, the supple skin underneath. It sounded a bit ambitious, but because my feet look like this:
What did I have to lose?
I soaked some socks in vinegar and Listerine and wore them while making work calls/chair-dancing to 80s music videos. I accidentally left them on about half an hour longer than planned because my three-year-old woke up from her nap demanding food and beverage service. After I peeled off the socks, I performed a bit of wartime torture on my feet with a medieval looking device known in extremist pampering circles as a pumice stone.
Then I slathered on this stuff that I'd probably gotten as a bridesmaid gift somewhere along the way. I am choosing to regard the color as that of "fire-roasted island coconut" and not as what is more immediately recognizable to me as the combination of weeknight Boone's Farm and regret.
In the end, I did detect some improvement in the condition of my foot skin. It's hard to tell whether the Listerine made much difference. I kind of suspect that the real champion here is the pumice stone, which I sawed against my heel like I was trying to start a fire. Either way, my feet smelled delicious. And tasted even better! ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment